The Humanity of Ryoko Asakura
by einootspork
Summary: After her death, Ryoko Asakura was sent for processing, and now the decision has been made: Her consciousness will be uploaded into the first-ever fully human body created by the Integrated Data Sentient Entity. Can she cope with her newfound humanity?
1. Prologue

**PROLOGUE**

I'm afraid I am not sure where to begin here.

Perhaps who I am would be as good a start as any.

I am Ryoko Asakura – well, that isn't true. My name is Ryoko Asakura. Those two statements are not the same. You probably cannot understand the difference. After all, you're a human. Humans often are not very perceptive. A flaw of the species, I'm afraid.

I, however, was always aware of the difference. At least, I assumed so.

Perhaps I understand that better now?

In any case, I should begin earlier than that.

It's difficult... gathering your thoughts in this way... I think it was much easier as an interface.

...

Perhaps on occasion you've been in a dream where you felt as though something was wrong, but you couldn't quite figure out what it was?

That's how I've been feeling a lot lately.

Yes...

Feeling...

I belonged - I guess still belong, in a way - to a group known as the Data Overmind. They have made it their mission to quietly collect as much data about the natural world as they possibly can. And they are searching for the key to their continued evolution, which has recently hit a dead end. As for the answer, I cannot say, but it has something to do with an unusual and mysterious human known as Haruhi Suzumiya. Perhaps you have heard of her?

I suppose the closest human label you could have applied to me at the time – for I shall be assuming by this point that you are human if you are reading this– would have been "rebel." My... certain viewpoint was not... well-regarded among the Entity. You could say I saw things through an unusual window... I probably wouldn't say something like that, but I suppose the human ability to speak... artistically... is one I have gained. Somewhat. I don't claim to be a fantastic writer. But I do try, and I need to tell this story.

Because, you see, a while ago, I was deleted. Erased, you might say, from existence. But I wasn't completely gone. I... lingered. A small seed of myself lingered...

It's difficult to understand, but in any case, I waited. And I thought. I was barely there, barely able to exist, and I only managed to exist through what seemed to be pure force of will.

But after so much waiting...

It was deemed to be fitting for me to come back. But not as an interface.

Instead, I was set to return human.

By whom, you ask? For what reason?

Well, at the time I believed the Data Overmind wanted me to exist as a human as some sort of punishment. And to observe Suzumiya Haruhi once more under different circumstances and under a different guise.

As for whether or not that was really it?

Well.

As the humans say, _that's for me to know and for you to find out._

And I think I know where to begin now: when I first woke up as a human. It seems so simple now that I know. But humans do have to sort their thoughts out from time to time, yes?

Please enjoy the following story.

* * *

_Did you enjoy this rewritten prologue? I'm still not sure if it's the way I want it, but it's a step up from the original IMO. Not in the sense of being better-written, or worse, but I think it fits much better in the context of the story._

_For new readers who never even saw the original, welcome! I've really enjoyed writing this story a lot, and I hope you do too. It's been a great ride so far and it'll continue to be so straight until the finish!_


	2. I: Awakening

**I - AWAKENING**

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life."– Obnoxious motivational-poster saying

* * *

When I regained consciousness, I found myself lying on something.

_What happened? And where am I?_

I had to force myself up, for I seemed to be... heavy? Was that it? I had some inexplicable inclination to remain on the bench for a while and choose to continue being unconscious... what was this? Nevertheless, I managed to set myself upright, upon which I discovered that my location was that of a bench in the park. I took note of the humans passing by me with a detached interest, but none of them appeared to take any note of me.

_So then I have... returned...? I do not understand..._

I perceived the wind blowing in from the east, or into my face, in other words. I had, of course, perceived the effects of said wind before, but somehow this was... different. There was less information being perceived than before my first termination, but somehow the information I did perceive was more... complete? More important? I was not sure.

_What happened? Have I been upgraded?_

But this was incorrect, for I felt as though something was missing. For a second, I couldn't quite place it, then I realized it.

_Where is my data connection?_

I did not appear to be uplinked, and when I subsequently attempted to sync to the Overmind, I discovered, unexpectedly, that I could not.

_If I have not been upgraded, then have I been downgraded?_ _This cannot be the case. Or perhaps it could be the case? I do not desire it to be the case..._

Besides my failure to connect to the Entity and my altered perception of the world, there was something else that seemed to be different, or missing, or changed. Puzzled, I stood myself up and commenced to walk through the park.

I attempted to take in as much data as possible as I walked, which was somehow simultaneously easier and more difficult. It appeared to be spring, as the cherry blossoms were in full bloom and the trees seemed quite healthy. Humans were walking by, paying attention to themselves and not to me. Some were in twos, male and female, talking about irrelevant things: the weather, current events, sport, popular television programs or books, and each other. Some couples were, for some ritual human reason, grasping each other's hands, while others were not. The sun was unobstructed by clouds; I believe a human would describe it as "nice weather".

After a time, I exited the park and walked along the city streets. When I passed a shop, I noticed something else different: My hair was no longer the same hue. It had somehow changed from its former blue to a more ordinary black. I would have to fabricate a story to explain this.

Actually, now that I had started to "get my bearings", as a human would say, I realized that I would have to fabricate a story to explain more than just my hair. To be truthful, my hair would probably be the least difficult to explain. _Where exactly can I say I have been?_ I wondered what explanation had been concocted for my departure in the first place.

_Perhaps I should consult with..._

_No. She would not want anything to do with me. She believes me to be terminated, and if I appear to her now, she may attempt to terminate me once more._

I continued to walk through the city, with no goal or ending place in mind.

After a while of walking, I felt a strange sensation in my stomach. I realized I was actually feeling hunger, which I recognized because I had had it described to me many times before by humans. I was not sure why I was in such a state, but I of course knew how to remedy it, so I directed myself to the nearest restaurant.

Standing outside the door, I suddenly I was not sure if I had any money with which to pay for food, but I realized I had a wallet in my pocket, and a quick look inside assured me that I would indeed be able to obtain sustenance.

_I suppose that would be the Overmind's work,_ I reasoned to myself as I began to open the door. _They had provided me a steady income before._ _And now that I am..._

_Wait... _I stopped midway through entering the restaurant.

_What was it they had said?_

_"...After consideration, a new use for Ryoko Asakura has been decided. Said unit's consciousness will not be rejoined with the Data Overmind and instead will be placed inside a new shell. Said shell will be the first fully human one created by the __Data Overmind__..."_

_"...Said shell will be the first fully human one created by the __Data Overmind__..."_

_"...Said shell will be the _first fully human one_ created by the __Data Overmind__..."_

"...human..."

...

...

...

...

...

...

.

_**"WHAT?"**_ I bellowed.

The humans walking past me were suddenly jolted from whatever it was they had been doing and finally paid attention. Normally I would have refrained from such an action to avoid causing a fuss, but I did not care, for they were humans.

"How could they do this to me?" I said, not as loudly as before, but still at quite a level. "How _dare_ they make me into one of... into one of... _them?"_

If I had known any human curse words at this time, I would have used them, but I did not. Instead, without realizing it, I was now running down the streets of the city, not caring whether or not I ran into any humans or any cars or anything at all.

"_Humans!_ Such _simple_ creatures, such... such _ignorant_ creatures! And they expect me to be _ONE OF THEM? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!"_ I let out a scream that made all the humans around me cover their ears.

I continued to scream, and as I did, I kicked, hit, threw, and punched every inanimate object near me as I could (that wouldn't end up hurting me if I tried to) out of some strange desire to destroy anything human.

_Stupid human garbage receptacle! Ridiculous human concert flier! Idiotic human parking meter! Why don't you want to die?_

_"Why don't ANY of you want to __DIE?"_ I screeched, kicking my final victim, an aluminum can of soda that someone had not bothered to throw away. I stopped, bent over, breathing heavily in and out, as a result of my new human fatigue. _Unnecessary! I don't need to rest! Curse this human body of mine!_

Eventually, my fatigue subsided somewhat, and when I set myself upright, I noticed all of the humans giving me looks ranging from just shock to smug superiority to amusement to cold glares.

And although it had never bothered me before up to that point, I suddenly felt as though I ought to inflict even further violence just because of the way they looked at me.

_Damn them! Damn these humans! I just... I want them to GO AWAY! I... I want to get away from _them!

"Don't... _don't look at me!"_ I yelled for a final time.

Then, suddenly, I had a strange desire to run.

So I did.

I ran away.

I ran until I could run no further. At that point, I was standing in a train station. Feeling fatigued once again, I sat myself down on the bench to rest. As I did, I knew that my outburst was over, but the sentiment I had expressed remained, simmering and stirring itself in my head.

I did not realize it at the time, but rage was the first human emotion that I understood.

* * *

_Well, there you go. Hopefully you enjoyed that. It's not very long, but I think it doesn't need to be any longer. In fact, I'm sort of glad it's not long, as I have a tendency to make my chapters extremely lengthy, which can lengthen out the time it takes for me to publish another installment in a story. Besides the fact that I'm an awful procrastinator, of course._

_It's kind of funny, because I changed the prologue so Ryoko didn't get into a rage and made it more of a subdued rant, but then I had her get even more angry here. I think it suits the story much better, but still, it's fairly amusing._

_Once again, R&R! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, but if you didn't, please tell me so, and tell me why._


	3. II: Briefing

**II - BRIEFING**

"Don't worry. Nobody's human." –Gerald Ford, to a waiter who had spilled food on him (allegedly)

* * *

I do not know exactly how long I sat at the bench, but at some point I noticed there was a train boarding. Having no real destination in mind but wanting to get away from where I was, I boarded it without thinking about my decision too much.

Once on the train, I found an empty spot and deliberately focused my gaze not on the passengers but on the window behind them. Still, I could not stop myself from catching pieces of conversation from time to time.

"...you believe Suzuki said that to me? What a jerk! I don't know why I hang out with..."

"...wouldn't call myself an otaku, it's more like a hobby than an obsession, really..."

"...weather is a lot nicer than I thought it'd be today, so maybe instead of just going straight home we should..."

"Miss Ryoko?"

I jerked out of my reverie to discover that sitting directly next to me was a girl that I did not know. However, something I could not identify indicated to me that she was a human interface like I used to be. She looked at me questioningly.

"Er... ah... hello," I said. _Er? Ah? Why did I say those things? I've never had trouble forming speech before._ "Who are you?"

"Emiri Kimidori," the girl introduced herself, bowing as much as she could while sitting, which was not very much. "We have never met before, but I have of course heard about your attempt on Kyon's life and of your situation now. Due to certain events involving Yuki Nagato that took place after your termination, I have been assigned as her superior."

"It's... a pleasure to meet you, Miss Kimidori," I replied. Although I was hesitant, I was already starting to slip into my mode of interaction I had been using in my previous "life." Although I knew I shouldn't, since this Kimidori was not a human, I couldn't help it. The smile that I had put on my face before had already started to return. Perhaps, as humans say, "old habits are hard to break"? "Er... how did you get here?" I continued.

"It's a pleasure to meet you also," said Kimidori formally, brushing her long light-green hair out of her face, which I identified as a programmed physical tic, much like Yuki Nagatos's constant pushing up of her glasses. "I actually have just been dismissed from my part-time job as a waitress and am on my way to our apartment."

"_Our_ apartment?" I inquired, already using that friendly tone I had used with other humans at my post at North High.

"Yes." Kimidori nodded slightly. "To be brief, although the Entity has detached your data link with them, they still consider you an uncertain factor, and thusly, they will continue to treat you as a subordinate. It has been decided that until further notice, you shall live with me, where I will be able to keep a close watch on you and determine whether or not you are stable, as well as to collect data on how your behavior has been altered and how that relates to you being hu–"

I interrupted her before she could finish. "Don't say that word," I told her. The smile I had been beginning to exhibit was gone, and my tone had turned what might be called "harsh."

Kimidori blinked, then said, "It is the appropriate word to use in this situation."

"I do not wish to be..." My expression, without any prompting, became one of distaste. "..._human._ Humans are very..." I struggled once again to find the correct word. _How strange,_ I thought to myself. "...ignorant beings."

"I can understand why you would say that," Kimidori replied. "Humans are far behind data entities in terms of understanding the universe around them. However, they are the only known organic beings that have achieved anything that could be called self-awareness, which is the reason why they are worth observing at all. Also, you must consider Haruhi Suzumiya's data-manipulation abilities, which are far greater than any human interface has been able to achieve." After this short speech, Kimidori pushed her hair out of her face yet again.

_Maybe she ought to get a haircut... _I thought to myself. _No, that is irrelevant._

"I suppose so," I agreed, subconsciously re-assuming my facade, although more out of my desire to move along the conversation than my actual belief in what she said.

_Miss Suzumiya is worth studying, but the other humans? I cannot see a reason why their ordinary lives would be considered relevant._

I looked around the train to see the passengers: two high school girls, still in their uniforms, "gossiping" about classmates; a middle-aged woman continually checking her purse to make sure nothing was missing; a weak-looking boy avoiding eye contact with other humans and listening to a long-outdated yellow cassette player.

_None of these humans seem especially interesting or significant to me. Why would Emiri Kimidori think otherwise?_ I was genuinely curious about this, but I did not want to ask my new roommate anything like that. I was not sure why at the time, but looking back, I can see I was afraid to do such a thing.

* * *

I would have chronicled the events from this point to when I arrived at my destination, but after some counsel from one of my peers I know now that it is not required to tell everything in a story such as this and I should remove "boring unnecessary crap no one wants to hear," as it was described to me.

So, I am instead "skipping ahead" to the point where I opened the door to Kimidori's apartment.

* * *

Unlike the apartment that I had lived in and the one that Nagato spent her time in, it looked warm and inviting, an atmosphere that was helped not only by the wallpaper but by the fact that it was actually furnished. Among the items in the apartment: a refrigerator, patterned curtains on the window, a television of obsolete model, a blue sofa, a stove, a table to sit at, and a tall bookshelf completely filled with books of all shapes and sizes, among other miscellaneous items – I took note of a disused kotatsu quietly collecting dust in a corner, and the top of the bookshelf had a few figurines of what I presumed to be anime characters.

Kimidori walked into her apartment immediately. When she noticed I didn't follow her in, she made a hand motion for me to do so, and I followed her, slightly dazed.

"I never realized that an apartment could have so many things in it," I said, more to myself than to Kimidori.

"It's to help me blend in with humans, although I myself do I prefer it this way." Kimidori walked over to the bookshelf, extended her toes so she could reach the highest shelf, and pulled out a thick-looking book. "By the way, please close the door behind you." I did so, and Kimidori sat down on, surprisingly, the floor and not the couch, and began to read.

I merely stood there, not knowing where to place myself.

"Are you feeling all right?" Kimidori asked me.

"I do not feel unwell..." I replied.

"That is not quite the interpretation I intended," Kimidori pointed out. I wasn't sure what other interpretation there was, but didn't say anything. "Are you emotionally well?"

"I am... unsure. I do not know whether or not I have emotions, and if I do, I don't know what they are at this moment," I responded honestly.

"I suppose so," Kimidori replied, simultaneously talking to me and reading, something I found slightly unsettling, although I didn't realize it at the time. "You should endeavor to learn more about emotions and whether or not you truly have them. Personally I think you do, seeing as you're human now. It, as humans themselves say, 'comes with the territory.' The hard part is understanding them."

My brow furrowed. "I... guess."

_"I guess?" What a strange way for me to talk... Is that what humanity is: to be strange?_

"You should go to sleep," Kimidori said through her book.

"Sleep?" I repeated. I had a general idea what that entailed, but I wasn't sure on the specifics. "I'm not..."

Then I remembered something. "Is that what I was doing earlier? When I was sitting at the train station, I temporarily lost consciousness... Is that sleep?"

Kimidori nodded, not looking up at me.

_She should be making eye contact with me,_ I thought to myself._ Although it is unnecessary, it makes the human you are talking to feel more comfortable._

"How would I achieve that voluntarily?" I asked.

"I am not sure of that myself," Kimidori admitted, "But I believe it helps to lie down and close your eyes. You should be able to sleep on the couch; it rolls out into a bed."

I walked toward the couch in tiny steps, then made a tentative attempt to fold it out. To my surprise, it worked on the first try, and I slowly laid myself down and closed my eyes.

Something was wrong, but I couldn't identify what it was for a while, and I struggled for a while to discern what before I realized it:

"It's... cold," I said. "Is there... That is, can you..."

Without saying anything, Kimidori got a blanket from what appeared to be a linen closet and draped it over me.

"Thank you, Miss Kimidori," I said. "That's much better."

"Good night," said Kimidori, already reading her book again.

"Good night," I agreed.

And with that, I fell to sleep.

* * *

_I finished the first draft of this chapter late last night, which is appropriate because the ending is about sleep – what I needed. I just touched up the ending right now, which considering how tired I was when I wrote it needed surprisingly little editing. I think I'm starting to have a clearer idea of where this story is going, which is good, especially for me, since I usually just rush in without thinking._

_Chapter Three should be up within a week. I'm sure such a small wait time will be refreshing for anyone who has read any of my previous work, although I don't know if any of those people are reading this..._


	4. III: Kimidori

**III - KIMIDORI**

"You'd be damned to be one of us, girl

Faced with the dodo's conundrum

I felt like I could just fly

But nothing happened every time I tried"

–_Australia,_ The Shins

* * *

"Miss Ryoko..."

"Urrrrrgh." _What's that noise? Sleep..._

"Miss Ryoko."

"Hunnnnnh?" _Is that...?_

"Miss Ryoko, _wake up,_" said Kimidori quietly but firmly, pushing me off the bed and onto the cold hardwood floor.

"Ow!" I said, and snapped my eyes open. There was the floor. "What was the purpose of that?"

"It's already after ten o'clock," Kimidori stated.

"Really?" I turned myself around so I could see. Kimidori was standing above me with an inscrutable look on her face. I saw the fan spin above her, giving her a strange sort of halo. "How long was I sleeping?"

"Approximately ten hours, seventeen minutes, twenty-six seconds, and forty-three milliseconds," said Kimidori bluntly.

"Well..." I paused for a second. "I guess I really needed the sleep, huh?" I tried to get up off the floor, but I was having a little trouble.

"Affirmative. Humans require it." Kimidori extended her hand. I took it readily and stood up; I felt slightly dizzy for a second, but it subsided.

When I let go of her hand, there was a moment where we both stood there and didn't say anything.

_This is a strange situation..._ I thought to myself. _I believe it would be optimal for me to say something._

"Uhh..." I began, "What's on the agenda today?"

"Nothing," said Kimidori, again very bluntly. _Is that the way I used to behave?_ I wondered to myself.

"Well, uh..."

It was silent for a while... until my stomach began to make noise.

"You're hungry," Kimidori noted softly. "I shall make breakfast."

"Breakfast?" I repeated.

"Breakfast." Kimidori nodded and brushed her hair out of her face, then gestured toward the table.

"Ah, yes, of course."

I sat.

Miss Kimidori looked inside the refrigerator for a moment, apparently scrutinizing it, and then, without closing it, she turned around to look at me. "Is instant food acceptable?"

I stared blankly at her. "...Is there a reason it would be unacceptable?"

"I've heard humans refer to it as unappetizing before." Kimidori shrugged.

"Well, it's the only thing I ever ate before I was a human." Human interfaces actually do eat, but they do not eat very much, nor do they particularly care about what they are eating... at least in my experience. I never ate more than once a month, and my assertion that the only food I ever ate as a data entity was instant was an accurate one. "It should be acceptable."

Kimidori brushed her hair out of her eyes again, then nodded and set about making some instant food.

I merely sat and observed. As a data entity, I would have probably sat still the entire time, but as a human I found my attention, despite my efforts, quickly waning, and I had a strange urge to tell Kimidori to hurry up. I did no such thing, because I knew she was preparing the food at the speed indicated on the back of the package, but a... restlessness continued to gnaw at me.

_Is this... impatience?_

Soon enough, however, the food was ready for me. Kimidori set down a styrofoam container of instant noodles on the table and then sat in a chair directly opposite from mine, staring intently at me, perhaps in hopes of gauging my reaction.

I didn't think much about whether the noodles would be palatable. Interfaces could taste things, but only in a limited sense, and most ignored what little taste-related data they received and ate merely for nourishment. I merely picked up my chopsticks and proceeded to "dig in".

This proved to be a mistake.

The first emotion that I recognized as such was disgust.

"Is it satisfactory?" Kimidori asked, seemingly oblivious to the intense nausea I was suddenly experiencing.

"It's..." I began.

I looked at Kimidori and something stirred within me...

"...delicious."

Although her expression didn't change, I fancied that Kimidori looked pleased.

She didn't say anything, though. She only kept staring at me silently. I avoided her eyes and continued to try and pretend as though the food was perfectly fine and I was relishing it.

Eventually, though, I noticed that Kimidori had actually left the table and was apparently preparing a second batch for herself.

_This is her monthly nutrition update, then._

When she was finished, she brought her container to the table and sat down again opposite from me. She paused for a second or two (_I am no longer able to precisely measure time,_ I lamented to myself) before saying something unexpected:

"I am not actually in need of sustenance." She brushed her hair out of her face.

"You are not?" I seized upon the excuse to stop eating. "Then why are you eating?"

"Because you are," she murmured. "I thought perhaps it would make it easier for you to eat."

_Make it easier? What does she mean by that?_

I didn't know exactly, but I didn't bother to ask, and when I was finished with my breakfast and Kimidori with hers, we sat there.

Kimidori said nothing, but merely looked at me as though I was a halfway engaging episode of some human soap opera.

Her gaze began to feel as though it were somehow passing through me, so I said something:

"Uh..."

Kimidori blinked and cocked her head sideways slightly, then replied, "Oh, are you... do you wish to do something?"

"Do something?" I repeated.

"Yes. Unlike interfaces such as myself, who do not find anything wrong with observing all the time, humans tend to experience what they call 'boredom' when they do nothing for long enough, or even when they repeat the same routine frequently. As Miss Suzumiya's–" I involuntarily winced at the mention of her name– "behavior demonstrates."

_Boredom...? _I thought to myself, quickly pushing the thought of that human out of my mind. _Well... Perhaps..._

"I do desire to do something," I confirmed, although not with much conviction.

Kimidori brushed her hair out of her face again and put her head straight. "What is it that you wish to do?"

"..."

I did not know.

Kimidori somehow seemed to understand this. "Well, you might get a book to read, if you want to." She did not gesture toward the bookshelf, but she didn't need to, as it was hard to overlook.

"I have never had an interest in novels."

"You might enjoy them now," Kimidori said, with a barely noticeable emphasis on the last word.

I felt my left hand clench slightly. "No."

Kimidori gave me an unclassifiable look, then finally said, "I also have some anime DVDs you can watch if you want."

"Why?" I asked simply, and perhaps slightly harshly.

"Miss Suzumiya often sees the world in terms of such fictional ideas, so it could help supplement existing data regarding her personality."

For a moment I was stunned into silence. This was true. I had never considered that before. I was quiet for a while, then said, "Then it may be acceptable."

* * *

I ended up watching six episodes of an anime that I did not really understand. When asked, Kimidori told me she had selected it due to its "simultaneous usage of genre clichés and mockery of them". I didn't understand that explanation much either, and all I could ascertain from watching it was that it was a strange show about giant robots and interstellar war in which the male-female ratio was quite biased and the smartest character (for a human) was a 12-year-old girl who barely ever changed facial expressions. Also there was a show the characters watched that was also about giant robots. None of it made much sense to me, but if I hadn't known any better (or at least if I hadn't thought I did) I would have said that Miss Kimidori was enthralled by it.

There had been odd moments before, but this was the first time I began to notice that Kimidori was rather different than other data interfaces. Her way of thinking seemed slightly... idiosyncratic compared to Nagato's, and it certainly was nothing like mine.

I continued to notice this as I followed her through the day. When she took me to a human shopping mall and helped buy me a new wardrobe (I had awoken the previous day in my North High school uniform), I noticed the way she would often stop and stare strangely at articles of clothing or at other humans; when she took me to a supermarket to buy more food, I noticed how carefully and methodically she placed food into the basket, as though it were somehow precious to her; when we finally returned to her apartment and she made me dinner, I noticed how thoroughly she seemed to concentrate upon making the meal, to the point of blocking everything else out.

In short, I found something curiously... curious about her.

To me, she seemed to be quite inscrutable. If she were human, it would not have bothered me as much, since humans are strange and irrational creatures by nature, but I should have been able to understand an interface, even if I was no longer one. An interface exists to gather information. That should have been all the data I required, but I had a strange feeling that there was some other motivation behind Kimidori's actions, and I did not know what it was. As a result, the facade that I had been using toward her when I first met her was wearing off rather quickly. Somehow, I realized internally that the facade I had erected was not going to help me gather data about her character.

Soon I began to yawn.

_Damn it!_ I thought to myself. _This... weakness! It's so..._

I could not exactly think of what it was "so"; therefore, I merely mumbled incoherently under my breath in vague resentment. I didn't quite realize what it was at the time, but I think I can safely say that I was starting to get closer to understanding. You may think it is a bit hard to believe that an interface like myself would so quickly gain humanity, but remember, the way the human body naturally works is such that it is conducive to emotion. Admittedly, as an interface I already technically had a human body, but interfaces exert far more control over their bodies than humans, which is why I was able to eat so infrequently, why neither I nor any other interface required any sleep, why Nagato was able to survive my...

In any case, I was no longer in nearly as much control of my body as I was before, and thus was unable to prevent hormones from flooding me, from... controlling me. Yes, I was able to counteract it with rational thought, and in fact that was driving me more at the moment than human emotion, since I was used to thinking methodically, but there were certain aspects of myself that I could never consciously control as a human, and that definitely scared me. No, to be honest, it terrified me. Of course, I didn't realize that fully either, but it... gnawed... at my mind.

Am I getting better at being metaphorical? I desire that to be so.

In any case, I was, however much I cursed myself for being so, quite fatigued.

"I believe," I said tentatively to Kimidori, who was once again reading, although this time she had actually dusted off her kotatsu and sat in it, "That I should go to bed now."

Kimidori didn't say anything; she only gave a barely-noticeable nod.

I pulled out the bed and had made myself fairly comfortable when my hostess suddenly said something:

"Miss Ryoko," she uttered colorlessly, "I had forgotten to mention that you will be returning to North High tomorrow."

I didn't get any sleep that night.

* * *

_Remember when I said this chapter would be up in a week? Ha ha! What a laugh, huh? Man. I oughta be executed! Somebody get a guillotine up in here!_

_Seriously though, I'm sorry it took so much longer than I said. It's just that I realized I really didn't have a clue what to do about this chapter. I was frustrated for a while until I realized it should be a character study. Really, this is the first glimpse into Kimidori that we get, and I hope it interests you. I also hope that the ending isn't too abrupt, which I do think it is, but I also really wanted to get this chapter up as soon as I could tonight to hopefully make up for my lollygagging until now._

_By the way, don't worry; I worded the line about Kimidori being "dismissed" from her job somewhat unclearly, so she will still work there. I meant _temporarily_ dismissed, like you know, getting off from your job. It's just that Kimidori wouldn't say it like that, so... yeah.  
_

_Oh, and I had forgotten last time, so I'll say it twice: R&R! R&R, if you don't mind! If you don't review, I won't know if you liked it or not, and I assure you, I aim to please. So tell what you think!_

_One more thing: Guess which anime Ryoko was describing and you get a cookie._


	5. IV: Beginning

**IV - BEGINNING**

"I do not know what I may appear to the world, but to myself I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the sea-shore, and diverting myself in now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me." - Isaac Newton

* * *

My third day as a human began in much the same way as the second had: Kimidori prodded me for perhaps five minutes until I finally gave in and opened my eyes.

"Huh...?" I mumbled while gazing at the blur I assumed was my roommate.

I expected her to once again recite the exact time, but to my surprise, she ignored my question and simply answered, "You must awaken and prepare for your inaugural day at school as a human."

"Oh..."

I blinked.

"..._What?"_

"You need to awaken and prepare for-"

Before she could have time to finish, I scrambled out of bed and rushed to try and make myself a decent breakfast. Kimidori-san didn't say anything, only stared; I didn't say anything to her in order to avoid the offer she might make to cook breakfast for me. I was about to run out the door when my roommate finally said something...

"You do not have to run."

I turned to look at her.

"School does not start for forty minutes and twenty-four seconds."

"Wh-Why didn't you tell me that earlier?"

A pause. Then:

"You never asked."

Kimidori brushed her hair out of her face.

* * *

As I walked up the path that would lead me to North High, I quietly took note of the cherry blossoms in bloom and the green, bountiful trees. I breathed in the air, which seemed cleaner than before - or maybe I had become less adept at detecting the pollution coming from the city.

Walking into the school and through the halls was not like any other experience of my life up to that point. It was like a... dream... no, that is incorrect. In truth, it was though I had just woken up from a dream and the world did not feel quite real yet. I could not quite quantify it as that at the time, but I still got a strange feeling. As I stopped outside the door to my class, I wondered for a brief moment if this was what closed space was like, then "shook it off" and stepped through the door to class 1-5.

To my surprise, the girls in the classroom gave squeals of delight and encircled me almost immediately. The boys were not as enthusiastic, but they turned around to look at me and their expressions ranged from mild surprise to shock to joy.

"Asakura!" one said, her hands clasped together in joy. "You're back!"

"I had heard you had transferred back from Canada," said another girl with glasses, "But I didn't believe it until now!"

_...Canada?_

"Uh... Yeah," I said, attempting to slip once again into my former persona and crossing the room to be closer to my desk. "I'm sorry I couldn't contact you, but I was just too busy. I really missed you all!"

"Oh, we missed you too, Asakura!" said the girl with her hands clasped together, "I didn't have anyone to talk to when you were gone."

"So, what was it like in Canada?" asked yet another girl, this one with very short hair. She and the other girls looked at me expectantly, barely keeping themselves from giggling.

I scratched the back of my head with my right arm. "It was... ah... cold. But the people were nice."

"Did you try maple syrup?" asked another, barely containing her excitement.

"Er... yes... it was very good. Actually, now that I'm back here, sometimes I want to put it in my... ehhh... curry..."

_When did I become such a terrible liar?_

"Why did you change your hair? It was so cuuuute before..."

"I... decided I needed a change of pace, that's all. Blue hair was just a phase I grew out of."

"Were there bears? I've heard that there's bears..." said an odd-seeming girl in a sudden shift of subject.

"Oh... yeah. I mean, I saw... yes, there were definitely bears."

"Did one try to eat you?"

I could feel the girls huddle closer toward me, apparently in a combination of fear and... jubilation?

_I still don't understand this female concept of "gossip"..._

"Ah... It didn't..."

I trailed off when I noticed the disappointed looks on their faces. _Before I was so adept at manipulating these girls... what happened?_

"-Er, sorry, no, it did. I just have trouble remembering because it was so... traumatic."

The girls squealed in awe. "Wow! How scary!" said one in the back of the ever-increasing group.

"Was it a polar bear?"

"...No. No, there were _not_ any polar bears."

I was going to continue my chatter with the other girls, but then the door opened, and without any fanfare or reception, **that person** walked in and my brain nearly froze to a halt.

**That person** plodded through the classroom with an air of defeat, as though life had seen fit to give him more trouble than he deserved, but I knew it was just an act. And **that person**'s feet carried him closer and closer to me.

"Wait!"

I suppose I must have been louder than I thought, because what seemed almost like half the class turned their attention towards me.

"Why... why are you here?"

**That person** turned around to look at me and for a moment he looked as if he had been hit with something heavy.

"Why am _I_ here?" he protested. "Why are _you_ here?"

"I transferred back! I'm supposed to be here!" I suppressed an inexplicable urge to kill him on the spot. _"You_ are supposed to be _GONE!"_

The girls around me backed away. But **that person**, even though he looked surprised, still looked straight at me.

And I looked straight back at Kyon.

"No," he said. "You're the one who... transferred." He lingered a bit on the last word, as if to say "you're not fooling me".

I reined myself in, once again hiding behind the wall I had created. "Well, of course, Kyon, but my father's work took him back here again. I'm glad he decided to bring me back to this school! I've missed everyone here. Actually, I'm surprised you're still here yourself. After all, I had heard rumors about _you_ being... transferred."

Kyon gave me an expression of what I could not mistake even at the time for anything other than deep loathing. I could hear the girls I had talked to begin to whisper behind me. Our "discussion", I am sure, would have continued for much longer and gotten considerably more heated if it were not for the fact that at that precise moment the teacher came in.

"Why aren't all of you sitting in your desks?" said Mr. Okabe, looking irritated. "This is a school, not some social club!" The girls all scurried back to their desks, but they continued muttering to each other, quickly and worriedly.

Kyon sat back down as well. I noticed as he did so that Miss Suzumiya had been in the desk behind him the entire time. She was giving me a very odd look. I ignored it and sat in an empty seat near the front of the classroom.

* * *

During school, I didn't find anything especially difficult compared to my former school life. Although I did find the language classes to be slightly alien (if you'll excuse the word), I had never particularly found them to be very tasteful subjects before, so I largely ignored them. Girls continued to whisper to each other while pointing at me whenever they could get away with it without getting caught, but I ignored that also. In truth, I did not pay much attention to anything happening in school until lunch, instead letting my previous incident with that boy Kyon and the previous two days of my existence spin around inside my brain looking for something to latch onto.

When lunch did come, through no fault of my own, I somehow found myself sitting next to... well, I couldn't remember their names, which irked me quite a bit, but not who you would expect, at least.

"So," said the quieter, shorter boy, whom I had so far successfully managed to avoid asking the name of, "What was it like in Canada? Did you meet anyone?"

"I met lots of people!" I said in my best mock-friendly voice and gazing longingly at the boy's lunch, since I had not the sense to pack my own and Kimidori had evidently forgotten to do so for my sake. "They were all very nice."

"Well, no duh," said the taller, louder boy, not bothering to wait until he was finished chewing his food. "But could you be more specific or something? Did you meet any weirdos? I've heard Canadians are weirdos. Oh, here," he added, noticing that I didn't have a lunch, "You can have mine, all right? I had a pretty big breakfast." He pushed his lunch toward me in a manner that suggested he thought he was Jesus curing a leper.

"Thank you," I said, not sure if I meant it or not. "As for weirdos, I don't really think there are any in the world. People that everyone think are weird are merely misunderstood, in my opinion." I picked up a rice ball with my chopsticks.

"You would say that, wouldn't you?"

"Kyon!" The tall boy spewed food all over the short boy. "Jeez, dude, don't sneak up on me like that." He crossed his arms. "Why weren't you over here earlier anyway? Did our resident nutbar keep you distracted with her feminine wiles?"

"Shut it, Taniguchi," Kyon spat, towering behind me like some vast predatory bird. "For the last time, nothing is going on between Haruhi and I, and anyway this has nothing to do with you. I want to speak to Miss Asakura."

"You should be more polite about it," I said, setting my chopsticks on the table and turning around to face him with a forced smile. "I would be perfectly happy to have a discussion with you if you asked nicely."

"Yes," he said back, "Because you sure were polite to _me_ this morning. You know, what with saying I shouldn't even be here and all that." He glared at me.

"A momentary lapse in reason," I explained, "Probably caused by my lack of a balanced breakfast this morning, or perhaps temporary insanity." I smiled even wider, hoping it would enrage him further and provide me with some amusement.

Instead of him yelling at me or getting more insistent, though, he suddenly gave me a cold look and said this:

"Bullshit."

My smile faltered.

"Yeah, that's what I thought."

My adversary was about to walk away, but suddenly another person intruded upon our conversation. A person with yellow ribbons in her hair.

"Hey, Ryoko!" She yelled at me. I was fascinated at how very little she thought of calling me by my first name without even an honorific. The idea that any human could be so impolite struck me as as attractive, in a way. As far as I could ascertain, most humans spent their time making meaningless social gestures in an attempt to "fit in", an offense I was admittedly guilty of, but this girl found such meaningless niceties not worth bothering with, and in a way, I admired that.

"Yes?" I said, turning toward her now and watching her again ignore social rules by simply shoving Kyon out of the way like he was some sort of object. Which she probably thought he was.

"Come with me!"

"Huh?"

But before I could say anything more or Haruhi would explain, she grabbed Kyon and I with one hand each and ran. I desperately tried to hang on, astounded at the girl's near-superhuman strength and speed, as she raced through the hallways before finally stopping at a door I had never seen before.

"What the hell is all this about?" Kyon asked sorely, in both the physical and emotional sense: He was rubbing his arm with a resentful look on his face.

"Ryoko!" Haruhi looked imperiously at me and put her hands on her hips.

"Yes? Is there something you wish to discuss with me, Miss Suzumiya?" I asked, trying as hard as I could to keep smiling politely.

"Of course! I don't waste time in these sorts of matters," Haruhi said. "You see," she began, "As a mysterious transfer student..."

Suddenly Kyon went pale.

"I want you..."

Kyon put his hand on his head.

"To JOIN THE SOS BRIGADE!"

* * *

_**Dun dun dunnnnnnnnn! **__To be continued!_

* * *

**A/N: **

_I'd apologize for this taking so long, but frankly, you've heard that sort of thing from me enough already if you follow my stories. All I can say is that procrastination is in my nature... for better or worse._

_The "that person" bit where Kyon comes in is a takeoff of the way Kyon reintroduces Asakura in _The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya_. I thought it would be fun to "turn the tables", so to speak, and also maybe it adds a bit more drama? I'd like to hear your opinion._

_By the way, I love how she says she wants to put maple syrup in curry, because it's such a disgusting-sounding combination that she clearly didn't do the research._

_And I know the biblical reference is completely out of character for Asakura and for, let's face it, pretty much any Japanese person ever (which Ryoko essentially is, even if she's technically not from Earth), but damn it, I couldn't resist. It so points out Taniguchi's character that I had to leave it._

_Other than that, this chapter is okay, but... I wish it flowed better. And if the ending seems abrupt, that's because, well, it is. Maybe I could have taken a bit more time and had Asakura converse a bit more with Taniguchi and Kunikida, but I really wanted to get this chapter up and frankly she can do that later, if at all._

_Oh, by the way, the anime in question last time was in fact Martian Successor Nadesico. The user who guessed, Lance Captain Jaramin Aldhern gets a... cookie, or a trophy, or a handshake, or whatever the hell it was that I offered to whoever got it. It's a great anime, but very neglected in the West. Those of you who guessed Evangelion weren't far off though, as Nadesico shares some of the same self-awareness about giant robot cliches (although it's not nearly as dark), and also the team who dubbed it were the same ones who had dubbed Evangelion trying to blow off some steam. In fact, the folks who played Shinji and Asuka were in it and played roughly equivalent parts, which made some of their lines pretty funny._

_Also, are my notes too long? Are they too self-indulgent? I've been awfully worried that they are. Please let me know._


	6. V: Join the Club

**V - JOIN THE CLUB**

"Your feet are going to be on the ground

Your head is there to move you around

If wishes were trees, the trees would be falling

Listen to reason; season is calling"

-_Stand,_ R.E.M.

* * *

"...What?"

I had frozen.

Miss Suzumiya's smile was frighteningly wide. "You heard me, Ryoko! You're gonna be the _sixth_ member of the SOS Brigade!"

"Well... Yes, but..."

I couldn't force myself to look at her face. Instead, I turned to look at Kyon, who had somewhat recovered from his shock and now had his arms folded petulantly. He returned a glare to me.

"Well, don't just _stand_ there–" Once again before I could react, she grabbed me by the arm– "Come on in!"

She pushed open the door and strutted (there really was no other word for it) into the room, jerking me behind her.

"I collected all the Brigade members to sit in during lunchtime especially for this occasion, thanks to modern technology!" She waved her cell phone in the air.

"You're not supposed to use cell phones during school," Kyon pointed out unnecessarily, having followed behind Miss Suzumiya and I and closed the door behind him.

"Here," said Haruhi, completely ignoring Kyon, "is our Vice-Chief, the top-ranking member besides myself, Itsuki Koizumi!" She pointed at a brown-haired boy playing solitaire at one end of the table. He turned to look at me and gave me a very white, shiny smile.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," he said politely, brushing his hair back.

"Then, we have our lovely mascot, Mikuru Asahina!" She pointed at a short girl with reddish-brown hair and unusually large breasts, holding a tea tray. "She dresses up in adorable outfits and makes tea!"

"H-hi..." she said, blushing. "It's nice to meet you!" She tried to bow while holding the tea tray, accidentally resulting in one of the teacups breaking on the floor.

"Kyon, go clean that up," Haruhi commanded. "And last but not least," she continued as though Kyon wasn't grudgingly getting the cleaning supplies from a closet, or indeed even there, "We have our stoic type-"

"Yuki Nagato," I finished for her quietly.

"Oh, so you know our little nerd?" Haruhi grinned.

"...I suppose," I said, this time barely audible at all.

Nagato, who was, I noticed with a pang, no longer wearing her glasses, looked up from a book that she was reading and stared at me with large, dark, shiny eyes.

"..."

Feeling the same sensation I had experienced with Kimidori earlier that I was being looked through instead of at, only ten times stronger, I quickly yanked my eyes away and looked instead at Kyon again, who had suddenly stood up straight. I wasn't sure why he gave me the strange look he did; perhaps my response wasn't what he expected.

"Er... Well!" Haruhi said after a moment, clearing her throat. "How about you sit down!" Before I could say anything, she had pulled out a chair from the table Koizumi was sitting at and shoved me into it, smiling broadly.

I felt helpless as she strode across the room to the desk, pushing the chair carelessly out of the way. Although I didn't want to be here, I knew when I saw the way she crossed her arms and the way her face was lit up by her confident smile that there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop Haruhi Suzumiya.

* * *

Looking back, although one would think there would be a fuss about a new member, mostly it was an ordinary meeting of the SOS Brigade. Although Miss Suzumiya did go through some serious interrogation, she didn't get the answers she was looking for, thanks in part to my own cover story but mostly to the interference of the other Brigade members.

Therefore, what ended up happening was the same as it would always be, and I assumed as it had always been: Kyon beat Koizumi at board games, Miss Asahina made tea, and Nagato read a book. As for myself, I didn't want to disrupt anything, and Kyon kept looking at me suspiciously; as a result, I did nothing. I just sat at the table with my head on my arms, and eventually I fell asleep.

* * *

I felt a hand on my back shaking me.

"Miss Asakura..."

"Huh?" I opened my eyes and turned around only to see, surprisingly, Koizumi standing there. "Oh, it's you..."

"Ah, you're awake now," he said, smiling his suspicious smile. "Very good."

"What do _you_-" I began, but then I stopped and restarted: "Is there something you would like to tell me, Koizumi?" I tried to give him a typical smile, although I was a little too tired to do so.

"There's someplace I wanted to take you," he said, "if that's all right."

I wasn't sure if that was all right. This person raised suspicions, but at the same time, I was aware that being diplomatic would be a wise course of action. After a second or so of looking at his smiling, handsome face, I decided I would accept his offer. _I'm sure nothing bad will happen,_ I told myself.

"It would be acceptable," I said finally.

"Ah," he chuckled, "that is most excellent."

He then led me out to the school gate, where he hailed a black cab that, according to him, "just happened to be driving by". I, of course, knew better, but didn't say anything and just got in the back seat next to him. Koizumi asked the driver to take us to a restaurant.

After a few seconds of silence, Koizumisaid, "So, Miss Asakura, how did you find your first SOS Brigade meeting?"

"It was quite enjoyable," I responded, not particularly meaning it.

He merely chuckled again. "I was hoping you'd say that. It's very hard, after all, to get Miss Suzumiya to back down from something, no?"

"I would say so, yes," I agreed. I thought of how boldly she had accosted me earlier that day to join her club, and for some reason remembered how Kimidori had told me of the ease of which Miss Suzumiya became restless.

Kimidori...?

"Ah, Koizumi, do you have a cell phone I might borrow?"

"Certainly, Miss Asakura," he said, but he didn't take out his phone. Instead, his smile changed slightly and he asked, "What do you need to use it for?"

"Ah, I need to call my roommate and let her know that I won't be there."

Koizumi's expression reverted to the way it had been before. "Of course." He pulled out a very new-looking cell phone, possibly supplied by the Organization, from his pocket and held it out for me.

I took it and dialed the number, and she picked up in only one ring.

"Hello?" she greeted in her plain yet distinct voice.

"Hello, Kimidori, it's me," I replied. "I was just going to tell you that I'm going to be home late tonight. I'm meeting with some friends."

"You've made friends already? That's great," Kimidori replied. Something was in her voice that I couldn't identify. Perhaps she really did think it was "great" that I had "made friends".

"Thank you for telling me," she continued. "Actually, I am at work right now, so I suppose it is fortuitous, since you would have been alone in our apartment. I must go now; my break is over. See you later, Miss Ryoko!"

"See you, Kimidori!" I hung up. I thought more of Kimidori and how she had taken care of me the past few days.

She had shopped with me, she had fed me (if what she served me could indeed be termed "food"), and she had provided me with a blanket to sleep in.

_She is very unusual indeed,_ I decided.

"Miss Asakura, are you quite well?" Koizumi asked, bringing me back to reality.

"Er... yes, of course. Why do you ask?" I wondered.

"It's just that you looked pleased about something," he said, trying to sound disinterested, although I didn't know why.

"Was I?" I asked sincerely.

_Pleased? I'm... not sure... _

I thought of Kimidori sitting and reading a book on the floor and watching anime with me.

_Perhaps I was..._

_Perhaps._

After a while, the car suddenly stopped and I once again returned from thought.

"Ah, we're here," said Koizumi, opening the car door and then holding it open for me. I followed from the car, and then he shut the door behind me.

The car drove away.

I saw that we were outside what was coincidentally the very same restaurant I had had my outburst in front of a few days ago. I turned to Koizumi-kun, a bit confused, and he gave me a smile that I wasn't entirely sure about.

When we walked into the restaurant, I saw that Kyon was waiting in a booth in the very corner of the room. When he saw us, his expression quickly turned to... disgust? Or perhaps annoyance? Hatred? The arbitrary distinctions between human emotion puzzled me.

"So, how are you on this lovely evening?" he asked, his smile very sparkly. He sat in the side of the booth opposite to Kyon, and I sat beside him.

"Better, before you showed up," Kyon complained.

"That's good to hear," said Koizumi, but he glanced at me quickly and his smile faltered for a second. Then, though, he looked back at Kyon and smiled like nothing had happened.

Kyon stared at Koizumi. I wasn't sure why he was doing this, but then I realized that he was avoiding looking at me. Although I had known before, it was not until this moment that I realized that I was somehow gratified to know that in this relationship, the distaste was not one-sided.

Koizumi hesitated for a second, then continued. "As I'm sure you're suspecting, this... newcomer and I were just having a conversation concerning you. Or, to be more specific, the rather important implications your return may have upon the world as we – that is to say, we humans – know it."

Kyon said nothing.

"And what would those be?" I asked, trying to move the conversation along.

Kyon said nothing.

"Ah," said Koizumi. "I have a few theories we may go upon, but none of them will be very valuable until my information is complete. As a fellow user of logic, I'm sure you'll understand."

Kyon said nothing. His fist clenched.

I nodded. "Affirmative. It is always preferable to gather as much data as possible before reaching a conclusion; such was the reasoning for my taking action in the matter of killing–"

Kyon pounded his clenched fist on the table.

"Why are you listening to her, you idiot? She's the enemy! She's the bad guy! She's _evil!_ And somehow you just sit there like always, talking politely to someone who tried to kill me not once, but _twice!_ What's your _problem,_ Koizumi? I've put up with your stupid _philosophical discussions_ before, but this– _this–_..."

But he trailed off, although he was still panting and furious.

The expression on Koizumi's face was not entirely readable to me, but it was most definitely no longer a smile.

After a long pause, he said, "Please calm down, Kyon. You are letting the emotions get the better of you." He paused for a while, then continued talking:

"To begin with, if you are actually correct and Miss Asakura here is in fact a threat to us, an outburst like that would not exactly be the best course of action to avoid a confrontation like your previous one. Second, you're assuming something that may not be true at all. As much as my sympathies extend to you for being subjected to something as assuredly awful as attempted murder, we still do not know if Miss Asakura was entirely within her right mind at the time of the attack and whether or not she feels any remorse for this decision. It is the opinion of the Organization–"

"Yeah, I figured you'd bring your 'Organization' into this," Kyon said sourly. "For as much as they get mentioned, I sure as hell don't _know_ anything about them."

Koizumi sighed slightly. "We've been through this before, Kyon. Although I cannot assure you that all of the members of the Organization are in agreement, nor that the Organization as a whole necessarily has your best interests at heart, I can at least... well..."

He looked directly into Kyon's eyes and suddenly seemed... different. Like he had been pretending the whole time and now he was telling the truth. "You remember what I said when we were trapped in those mountains..."

Kyon looked for a long time back at Koizumi, then finally he sighed as well. "No... you're right... I'm sorry. It's just... I can't..."

"Don't worry, I understand... My, we've been getting off-topic, haven't we?" His smile suddenly returned, and he looked back at me. "I apologize for interrupting you. You were just about to tell us what you knew about your return, correct?"

"Perhaps," I said.

Koizumi chuckled again. I felt slightly ill at ease when he did that. "It would be very fortuitous for us all if you did so."

"Very well," I said. "After some time in standby mode-"

"'Standby mode'?" Kyon questioned, finally turning to look at me, although grudgingly. "Weren't you deleted?"

"Well, actually, I..." I trailed off.

_Actually... wasn't I?_

"Hmm," said Koizumi, "How very interesting."

"I'd say it's more of a nuisance," I disagreed.

"I suppose. Now, do go on."

I nodded and continued: "After some time in... some sort of non-physical state–" Kyon rolled his eyes– "I was finally reactivated by my superiors as punishment, and also for more detailed observation of Miss Haruhi Suzumiya."

Koizumi looked a little surprised. "Punishment? That sounds remarkably unlike the Entity from what I know of them. Wouldn't you agree, Kyon?"

Kyon seized the opportunity to look at Koizumi instead of me. "Actually, no," he said with surprising force, "I wouldn't put it past them."

"That's quite an interesting choice of words, Kyon. In any case, though, you would have to agree with me that what is unlike the Entity is that they wish to have one who is not an interface observe Miss Suzumiya's behavior."

"I guess," said Kyon. "That is a _little_ weird." His brow furrowed slightly, although it looked for some reason as though he was trying to hide this.

"Don't you find that odd, Miss Asakura?" Koizumi asked me.

"Actually, yes," I agreed. "I had never really thought of that until now."

"Please continue, then."

"Anyway, after that was decided, I woke up to found myself lying down on a bench in the park. Later, I met with Miss Emiri Kimidori, who informed me of my situation."

"Situation?" Koizumi repeated. "So she is your roommate?"

"That is correct," said a voice that wasn't mine, Kyon's or Koizumi's.

We looked, and to my surprise, Kimidori was right there, dressed in a waitress uniform.

"Miss Kimidori!" I said.

"Here I am not Miss Kimidori," she replied, "Merely your humble server. Please, may I take your orders?"

"Yes, please," said Koizumi.

Kyon and Koizumi ordered food that sounded completely alien to my ears. Perhaps I had forgotten what I had known about food as an interface, since it was only theoretical and never put to any real use. Kimidori took their orders and then turned to me.

"Uh... I'll have..." I thought for a second, not knowing what to order or even what anything on the menu was. Eventually, I settled for saying "I'll have whatever he just ordered," and pointing at Koizumi.

"I see." Kimidori wrote it down, and then left our table.

As she walked away, Koizumi said, "How very interesting. So you're living with Miss Kimidori now?"

I nodded. "Yes."

"I see... Well, again, please continue."

"Actually... that's just about all I know," I admitted.

"Is it? That's a bit disappointing," said Koizumi. He didn't stop smiling, though.

"Well, it's all I know," I repeated. _I said that already!_

"In that case, would you like to hear my theories?"

"Yes," I said. Kyon didn't say anything, but he looked as though he didn't want to hear any such theories.

"Well," he began, "the way I see it, there are two possibilities as to how this was brought about. The first one-"

"Let me guess," Kyon interjected with a sigh. "Haruhi made it happen."

"Why, Kyon," Koizumi said, "how astute you've become! Yes, option one is that Miss Suzumiya has willed it somehow for Miss Asakura to return to our world. As for why, I am not certain, but perhaps she wanted a female companion of some sort that she could relate to more easily than she could relate to Miss Asahina or Miss Nagato."

"Of course," Kyon said, "she wants to _relate_ to someone. That's _got_ to be it."

"It's only a theory." Koizumi smiled. "The second possibility is a little more sinister: some other, outside force, currently known or unknown to us, is manipulating these events."

Kyon rested his elbow on the table and his hand on his face. "Oh, good."

"What would that mean, exactly?" I asked.

Kyon turned to me, apparently having forgotten I was there. Koizumi turned also, smiling still but with a slight crease in his forehead.

There was a silence for a moment. Then Koizumi finally said:

"It means we have to be... _careful."_

* * *

The rest of that evening turned out to be fairly uneventful. We ate. Kyon and Koizumi carried on their own conversation mostly without me, except for a few comments that I made here and there when I overcame the inexplicable feeling in my stomach I would encounter whenever I tried to get into the conversation. Even without said feeling, it was hard trying to add something to the debate when every time I said something, Kyon would look at me so...

In any case, through an unlikely coincidence, we finished eating just about the same time that Kimidori finished her work. I couldn't pay, so Koizumi and Kyon had to "pick up the slack", as Koizumi said. Kyon looked rather upset about this, but accepted it anyway, so I ended up walking home with my roommate.

While we were walking, she asked me the following question:

"What is your current opinion of the SOS Brigade?"

Once again, she gave me a look that I couldn't identify.

"They are..." I thought for a moment. "...intriguing, I suppose."

"Really?" For a second, it seemed as though Kimidori was almost... smirking? But that couldn't be right. "I believe I recall you telling me that you felt as though humans were not worth observing. Have you changed your position regarding this issue?"

I had no answer to that.

* * *

Late that night, when I was attempting to sleep, something occurred to me:

_"...someone who tried to kill me not once, but _twice!_"_

...

Twice...?

* * *

_Well, it's finally up. This one took a while, but I finally finished it recently. This is partly because I put it off on many occasions, but also partly because this actually was a genuinely tricky chapter to do. I think it turned out pretty good, all things considered. For one, I had a surprising amount of fun writing the argument between Kyon and Koizumi; I like the fact that there are grievances and issues of trust involved that Asakura is not aware of and wouldn't understand._

_By the way, I'm trying to make it so that Asakura's narration is more "natural" whenever she's behaving in a more "human" way. Is that coming through in the text, or does it just seem random or inconsistent?_

_Oh, and I still hate hate HATE the prologue. I'm gonna fix it eventually. But I'm not sure how._

_BTW - I know I don't make many grammatical or spelling mistakes in my writing, but the few I do make drive me up the wall. If anyone would like to beta-read this stuff for me, I'd very greatly appreciate it._


	7. VI: A Disorganized, Pointless Chapter

**VI - A DISORGANIZED, POINTLESS CHAPTER**

"Some people say, 'How can you live without knowing?' I do not know what they mean. I always live without knowing. That is easy. How you get to know is what I want to know." - Richard Feynman

* * *

"Do I smell... unpleasant?"

Kimidori turned to look at me from her breakfast (as I had requested from her previously, she was free to make her own and was no longer required to make mine). "You seem to have more smell data surrounding you than you usually do. Is that what you meant?"

"Yes. Perhaps I should be taking a shower?" I smelled my armpit and instantly regretted doing so. "I should definitely be taking a shower."

I never took many showers as an interface, nor did I need to. I was therefore surprised to find how short of a time it took for me to become unsanitary. I knew how to shower, of course - I still had found it necessary to do it every two weeks - but it was nevertheless quite a shock.

After taking my shower, I made myself breakfast. It wasn't much, since I still had literally no cooking knowledge whatsoever beyond how to use a microwave and follow the instructions on a styrofoam cup filled with noodles, but it was definitely better than whatever Kimidori had made for me the day before. (_It is a bit disappointing that despite her status as a waitress, she hasn't picked up anything about how to prepare food well,_ I thought to myself.) As I loudly slurped the ostensibly nourishing concoction, I wondered how she had ruined hers so badly. Was there not enough seasoning? Was there too much of it? Was it overcooked? Yes; it was a bit overcooked. And I had a suspicion she had tried to enhance the meal's flavor with her own... _unique_ sauce. Given that interfaces did not interpret taste data nearly as well as humans, this was not the best choice she could have made.

Of course, the mere fact that she tried at all to be creative only raised more questions about Kimidori. Whenever I thought I had started to understand her, she threw some new and bizarre habit at me. Sometimes I wondered whether she was actually a data interface or a human like I had become... except she was still quite far from human. I remembered how expressive the humans I had met were. Kimidori, compared to them, was not expressive in the slightest. And it was indisputable that she still carried certain attitudes that were more indicative of the perspective of a data interface rather than a human mind.

"Ryoko?"

"Wha?" Without realizing it, I had gone into a reverie. I found that I was looking directly at Kimidori.

"Why were you looking at me?" Kimidori said, brushing her hair out of her face almost hesitantly.

I thought about it for a while. Finally, I just said, "No reason."

"I see... Perhaps you need to... How is it said... 'Organize your thoughts'?"

"Huh?"

"From my observations, humans often have so many thoughts that they get confused. I have heard that, for instance, writing down a bullet-point list of your goals or thoughts can help."

"Oh... Well, no, I don't think so."

"Okay." Kimidori went back to reading her newspaper. "Be sure to ask me if you need anything."

"I will." I sighed.

* * *

As we walked to school, I noticed that the temperature was a bit lower than usual today. I couldn't measure the change accurately - four, perhaps five Celsius degrees colder? Although I was annoyed at my imprecise human measurement abilities and Kimidori and I didn't talk to each other, I found the walk acceptable. I just felt the wind blowing around me and watched the clouds of my breath form due to the temperature difference between my now fully human body and the cold air.

Although Kimidori had packed me lunch today, I wisely chose not to eat it. Instead I "borrowed" parts of Taniguchi and Kunikida's (I finally could remember his name) lunches again. They were a bit offended at this at first, but after I offered to share my lunch with them and they tried some, they promptly forgot their issue.

The day at the clubroom was another uneventful one. Nagato was reading; Koizumi and Kyon were playing chess; Haruhi was sitting at the computer playing solitaire and sulking. I didn't want to intrude on anyone, so I stayed out of their business and just sat in a chair in a shadowy corner of the room, feeling very much like I didn't belong. And, more importantly, very caught up in my thoughts.

So much had been happening recently that I hadn't really had time to think about anything, so excess thoughts started swirling around in my brain, and I didn't know what do to with them.

_"I have heard that, for instance, writing down a bullet-point list of your goals or thoughts can help."_

I decided she was right. I would make a list.

I borrowed a piece of paper and a pen from Haruhi (who only lent them to me grudgingly) and began to write:

...

I could not think of anything to write. I realized I didn't know what my goal was at this point.

I thought about it some more.

Hesitantly, I wrote something down.

_Goals:_

_-Kill Kyon_

I pondered this for a moment.

Did I really want to kill him? That was certainly what my goal had been before. And I certainly felt a surge of strong dislike (hatred?) whenever I saw him. But I did not know what the point in it would be. I had not had much time to assess it, but the situation with Haruhi did not appear to be the same as it was before. I had been distracted the previous day when I could have brought it up with Koizumi at the cafe; if only I had remembered to ask!

I revised my list.

_Goals:_

_-Kill Kyon(?)_

I pondered some more.

I wasn't sure what to think of Kyon at that moment. (I looked over to him.) I knew he didn't like me, hated me in fact - the previous day's discussion had made that abundantly clear - but other than that? I knew nothing. I had no idea as to his thoughts, feelings, or motives. I usually could make some assessment, but not with him.

...Why did I assume he had motives? Perhaps he only had a passive role.

Kyon noticed I was looking at him. He gave me a very suspicious look. I stopped looking at him and looked at Nagato.

I wasn't sure what I thought of Nagato either. She just sat there, reading her book - or at least acting as though she was reading her book. I thought I caught her looking at me a few times.

I added to my list:

_-Investigate Nagato_

...

_Uh... yes, _I thought to myself._ Investigate Nagato. That is an acceptable course of action. Of course. Right._

Haruhi stared at me in a peculiar way; she almost seemed like she was offended. I noticed she would look at me, then at Kyon, then back at me again. I supposed I _had_ been staring at him. Perhaps she was trying to tell me not to annoy Kyon.

_Don't acquiesce so easily! She's more guilty of that than you are!_ some part of my mind scolded - which was strange. It wasn't as though I found staring at Kyon to be an enjoyable activity. Truthfully, I myself rather thought I should stop. Still, that small, oddly defiant thought persisted.

I revised my list again:

_Goals:_

_-Kill Kyon(?)_

_-Investigate Nagato_

_-Don't acquiesce so easily (to Haruhi?)_

I thought for a while longer, but Nagato finally closed her book and the SOS Brigade meeting was over, I had only added one more:

_-Learn to cook_

Which was, I supposed, as good a place to start as any.

* * *

I didn't have time for breakfast the next morning. Kimidori woke me up late. When I questioned her about it, she said she'd never been late for school before, whatever that meant.

Today was even colder than the previous one had been; I wasn't sure what had caused this development. I wondered if Suzumiya's mood was affecting the weather, but she hadn't seemed any more agitated than usual yesterday, so unless she was hiding her feelings, there was no reason for the chill. Regardless, I held my arms close to my chest in an attempt to regain warmth. However, it didn't stop the chill from permeating my very bones. I mean, not literally, in a figurative sense, but... never mind.

Then, about halfway to the school, something completely unexpected happened: I recognized the two boys who turned onto our road.

"Oh, good morning, Miss Asakura!" said Taniguchi, the loud one I had met the previous day. He bowed deeper than seemed necessary.

The other boy glared at me and said nothing. It was Kyon.

"Hello, Taniguchi," I said, looking directly at him so I would not have to look at Kyon.

"What a pleasant surprise!" Taniguchi smiled in a way that even I could tell was unnatural. "You're usually earlier to get to school than we are."

"Kimidori made us late," I informed him.

Taniguchi gave a forced laugh. "Hey, you shouldn't be mad at her. It's not healthy to blame others. Right, Kyon?"

"Yeah," Kyon muttered.

"Actually," said Kimidori, wearing her public face, "It was my fault. I took too long doing my hair." She looked down in an imitation of guilt. Or was it an imitation?

"Oh, really?" Taniguchi looked at her now. "Yeah, I can definitely see the extra time you put into it, Miss Kimidori!"

He seemed to lie a lot to girls. I'd encountered this sort of behavior before; it seemed to be a common mannerism of the male of the species. I assumed it had something to do with the human instinct for procreation. Of course, I didn't say anything about it, and we continued chatting as we walked to school.

"Kyon," asked Taniguchi, "Why the long face? You haven't said a word since they showed up."

Kyon gave him a rather nasty look.

"Do you not like Asakura?" asked Kimidori almost mischievously, although the meek expression on her face didn't change.

"What if I don't?" Kyon said, too casually. "Is there something wrong with that?"

"Well, no, not necessarily." Kimidori said, looking away shyly. I was amazed at how well she had managed to slip back into her public mode. "No one can get along with everyone, after all. I just think it's a shame that two nice people can't get along with each other..."

"Nice people?" Kyon and I repeated, at the same time. He shot me another of his nasty looks.

"I think I'd have to dispute that too," said Taniguchi. "I'd say - _look out!"_

Someone's hand grabbed mine.

I saw a car zooming toward us.

My heartbeat seemed to double in speed, but everything else slowed down. I suddenly realized I had a chance.

I could shove Kyon in front of the car and finish what I had started so long ago. I could feel it in my bones, my blood, in all of the places I could feel, that it had to be now, it had to be here.

But something stopped me. I don't know what it was. A small voice, deep from within my brain, told me that I shouldn't do it. Whatever the reason - revenge or a simple sense of duty - it wasn't good enough.

So I let the car go past, and the world and my heartbeat suddenly reverted to normal speed.

We all stood still for a moment, in shock at what had just happened. When I could feel things again, I noticed how heavily I was breathing.

"What," said Kyon finally, "The hell just happened? That guy nearly ran over us!"

"Weird," said Taniguchi. "I don't remember seeing it come up the road..."

Kimidori and I didn't say anything at all.

* * *

_Merry Christmas! As your Christmas present, I decided to finally release this chapter._ _It's a bit... rough around the edges, especially the list-making scene (since I was tired and kind of feeling hazy when I wrote it), and the ending kind of comes out of nowhere, but screw it. Be happy you at least got something besides coal in your stocking._

_The reason this took so long is that I realized I didn't have a clear enough idea of where the plot was going. I've worked it out a bit more, but it's still a bit unclear, so the next chapter might take quite a while to come out as well. Hopefully soon, though._

_I finally fixed the prologue. Well, I did that forever ago. But in any case, go back and read it again if you've been reading from the beginning, please._

_Also, I went back into the story and edited out all the honorifics. I'm OK with honorifics, but I'm still always a little unsure which ones to use in what situation. So I just decided to cut the Gordian knot and get rid of 'em all!_


End file.
